by Barbara Claypole White
August 28th 2012 is a date I’ll never forget. Yes,
it’s my first blog for Girlfriends Book Club (yippee!), but it’s also the day I
transition from daydreaming about becoming a published author to being, well, a
published author.
In celebration, I’m giving away a signed copy of my debut
novel, The Unfinished Garden. To
enter, please leave your email address in the comment section, and a winner
will be picked at random after 5:00 p.m. on Wednesday, August 29th.
So. Big day. Swear to God, I want to enjoy it, want to imagine
driving across rural North Carolina with my sunroof open, screaming, “I did
it!” Everyone tells me I must be thrilled. And I am. In a terrified can-I-throw-up-and-crawl-into-my-writing-cave
kind of way.
Here’s my problem—I’m focused on the doubts that could turn my inaugural reading
into disaster. Will my legs shake so much that I’ll trip in my high heels and
nosedive onto the podium? Will I open my mouth and talk rubbish? Halfway through, will I need the potty?
Harlequin MIRA, 2012 |
This is awfulizing,
a word I've learned through years of helping my son navigate obsessive-compulsive
disorder. I’m not obsessive-compulsive—although, as a Virgo, I’m the next best
thing. My son, however, has bravely battled the anxiety monster for most of his
life. He’s brilliant, compassionate, and a published, award-winning poet. He’s
also someone who, because of his OCD, struggles with transitions. OCD is all
about control; OCD hates change. And this is senior year of high school.
Mom’s book launch + college apps + OCD = the perfect
triumvirate of transition hell. But as Sir Winston Churchill said, “If you’re
going through hell, keep going.” And he should know, since he was simultaneously
fending off depression and the Nazis.
Me? I’m fighting back with a pledge. Today, I will focus on the
book and nothing but the book. After all, public readings are really tiara
moments for my love story about grief, OCD, and dirt. Yes, there’s a little of
my life in The Unfinished Garden.
The story seed came from two separate what ifs—both dark and morbid. I know, what is my problem? The first what
if came from helping my mother retreat into her garden after my father died,
and in the weeks that followed, watching her change from a wife to a
widow. I kept thinking, “Suppose
that were me?”
I’m a Brit married to an American professor. When my dad
died, I was a stay-at-home parent with no income and no citizenship of the
country I called home. My mind stuck on a horrid dilemma: What would I do if
something happened to my husband? That thought led to my heroine, Tilly. And it
still entertains my husband, who loves to tell people I killed him off in the
backstory.
The second what if
came several years later. James was not my original hero, but as I sought
escape from the hell of sharing our home with OCD, my mind veered off on
another sick tangent: What if, once my son grew up, no one could deal with his
quirky behavior? What if no one could ever love him the way I loved my husband?
There’s a reason James is estranged from his family: OCD destroys
relationships.
I didn’t set out to make a statement about OCD. I just
wanted to create a believable character. Popular culture is littered with
stereotypes of obsessive-compulsives. I love Criminal Minds, but the words obsessive
or compulsive often creep into the
show’s profiles of serial killers. And then there’s Monk, the television
detective with the wipes-carrying assistant. Did anyone see the episode when school
kids were laughing at him? Man, that one kicked me in the gut.
Imagine your worst fears. Now imagine living with them every
moment of every day. In stereo surround sound. That’s OCD. To force back the
worry demands incredible courage, and James is the bravest person
Tilly knows. He isn’t a victim or a psycho. He’s a successful entrepreneur who
happens to be terrified of everything…except snakes. Which gives him one up on
Indiana Jones.
I have no control over what happens as my book launches into
the world, but James and Tilly will always be my first hero and heroine. And
I’m so proud of them. I think I might get in my car, open the sunshine roof, and throw out one “Yay for The
Unfinished Garden.”
When she’s not gardening, Barbara Claypole White writes love
stories about damaged people and blogs through the highs and lows of OCD at easytolovebut.com. To browse The Unfinished Garden, go to barbaraclaypolewhite.com or amazon.
Awfulizing! Now I have a much better name for that thing I do all the time.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your book and I would love to win a copy.
lynm3041@gmail.com
It really is a fabulous word, isn't it?!
DeleteYay for you, Barbara! Congrats on the new book. Love the cover and thanks for the quote from Churchill. I think I need to print that one out!
ReplyDeleteOh, he had the best quotes. Here's my favorite: "KBO. Keep buggering on."
DeleteI would love to read your book. Please count me in! encgolsen@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteYay! Consider yourself counted!
DeleteCongratulations, Barbara! I've been dying to read your book since I heard about it months ago. Wishing you much success.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being so supportive, Lori. I can't wait to read YOUR book,
DeleteCongrats on the launch of your new book! Thank you for sharing the story of your inspiration for the book. I'm often as fascinated with the story behind the book as I am with the book itself. Would love to win a copy of the book. You can contact me here: http://roxanneravenel.com/contact/
ReplyDeleteMe, too. I love the story behind a novel.
DeleteWelcome Barbara and congrats! Your book sounds wonderful and I adore the backstory! Here's to wonderfylizing (I can make up words, too, right?) your day!
ReplyDeleteThank you! And yes, made up words are the best. :)
DeleteHi Barbara. Thank you for sharing your story. You must be an amazing person to wear so many hats. I don't know what it is to be OCD or to live with one who is, but I'm sure it's not easy. Our middle son was bipolar.
ReplyDeleteI would love to read your book. My email address is macjam47@cinci.rr.com.
Best of luck to you on your book launch and to your son.
We have bipolar in our family, too. I think bipolar and OCD are distant cousins! Im not sure about being amazing, but I have wonderful friends who keep me chugging along. Thank you--for your kind comments.
DeleteBarbara, I am in the catbird seat of having read the THE UNFINISHED GARDEN ahead of publication. In addition to my congratulations, I want to share with GBC readers what a wonderful story this is! Your OCD hero, James, is the perfect blend of quirky sympathetic protagonist, while Tilly's past and future lends itself to a fabulous plot! I think readers will just love your book!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Laura. See previous comment about wonderful friends. I am forever grateful for the day I picked up BEAUTIFUL DISASTER and thought, "Hmm. I need to read this."
DeleteMy husband has this monster so I am very interested in your book. Count me in and thank you for writing it!
ReplyDeleteCarolNWong(at)aol(dot)com
Hugs, Carol.
DeleteWelcome, Barbara! Great post!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Brenda. Love being here!
DeleteMy son was diagnosed with OCD at about age six but thankfully for whatever reason it has become almost non-existent over the last two years. I hope everyday that it has passed for good for his sake. Thank you for sharing your story and for the opportunity to win a copy of your book, it sounds fantastic. I also am in love with the cover, gorgeous!
ReplyDeletejaidahsmommy(at)comcast(dot)net
Thank you, Tiffany. My son's OCD waxes and wanes, but he's a trooper. He's writing his college app essay right now, and it's all about the life lessons of fighting OCD. Made my cry. :)
DeleteThis sounds sooo good...would love to read it & discuss with my book club! Thanks for the chance!
ReplyDeleteruthiekb72@yahoo.com
Yay! Thanks, Ruthie. If you want me to Skype in, I'm game. :)
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteHuge congrats on your novel, and I may have to steal the word awfulizing! Great cover. And, wow, do I know that I want to crawl in a hole and throw up because my book releases today feeling!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Christa. And steal away. :)
DeleteYay for The Unfinished Garden! I'll have to add this to my TBR pile too, Barbara. If I had a sunroof on my SUV I'd open it up and yell as loud as I can for you too! YIPPEE. YOU GO!
ReplyDeletePatti
yagerdelagrange@gmail.com
Thanks! I'm leaving for school pickup in two hours and plan on having that sucker wide open.
DeleteThis book sounds so interesting. There are so many people struggling with OCD, family, friends, coworkers, ourselves. It is good to read to learn more about it.
ReplyDeleteBonnie
sunnydaysrule AT hotmail DOT com
Thank you. I hope people will like James and see the courage it takes to boss back OCD.
DeleteHi Barbara, I just stumbled onto this blog and I'm so glad I did! Your book sounds fascinating, I'd love to read it and possibly post a review of it on my blog This Little Light if you don't mind. My email address is jenk00004.jk@gmail.com :) Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteThank you, that would be wonderful!
DeleteHi Barbara -
ReplyDeleteBest of luck. I'd love to participate. My email is sheryn(at)sherynmacmunn (dot)com. Congratulations!
Thanks, Sheryn!
DeleteCongratulations on your book being published. I think you have the right to be scared- I think I would be scared and excited, too.
ReplyDeleteP.S., thanks for sharing the inspiration behind your book. I love hearing the story behind the story.
Exactly--exciting and terrifying. Although I have an even better understanding of my hero now. It's not fun living with anxiety!
DeleteI would love to read and review your book--such an interesting idea.
ReplyDeleteLisa @ http://hopewellmomschoolreborn.blogspot.com/2012/08/whats-on-your-nightstand.html
Thank you!
DeleteCongratulations and welcome to GBC! Your book sounds fabulous and I'm heading over to read your blog now, too.
ReplyDeletexo
Thank you. EASY TO LOVE is a group blog, and a wonderful place for parents of kids with invisible disabilities. :)
Deleteyou hit me in the gut with your debut post and your book sounds so compelling--i'm going to go download it now! I hope you can enjoy your debut day and not let the what if's get in the way--easier said than done. As a mom with a child with anxiety issues I totally get how the whole household is brought into the fray--it' exhausting for all, particularly our wonderful, bright, fascinating children. Best of luck with your launch!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jenny! Yes, life with our brilliant worrywarts is always interesting. :)
DeleteCongratulations on finally getting to release day! I hope you have a wonderful time and that the memories stay with you forever. Best wishes for all good things, enjoy every minute.
ReplyDeletecarlscott(at)prodigy(dot)net(dot)mx
Thank you, Carl! It's been a long journey, and I'm ready for champagne. After I take my son to and from his weekly guitar lesson!
DeleteBarbara,
ReplyDeleteFirst and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS on your release day! May it be the first of many. Second, welcome to the GBC -- it's wonderful to see you here. And, finally, I'm a Virgo, too...which, as you say, is just a step away from OCD ;). Really looking forward to reading The Unfinished Garden!!
Thank you, Marilyn. Virgos rock!
DeleteHi Barbara,
ReplyDeleteHappy pub day! Hope it meets all your expectations. And welcome to the Girlfriends!
Thank you, Karin. So thrilled to be here.
DeleteCongrats on your book being published! I admire wonderful writers like you that I can relate with your subject matter. My Brother-n-law has OCD. I have learned so much on the subject and with his explaining..your book will help me too in understanding! Thank you for this being my entry in to the giveaway! I can't wait to read your story!!!
ReplyDeleteLive, Laugh and love your writing talent!
Cyndee Thomas cyndee.thomas0@gmail.com
Thank you. Live and laugh--even through OCD. Amen!
DeleteSounds wonderful! I have seen it on goodreads. So pleased to see a giveaway! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteMargaret
singitm(at)hotmail(dot)com
Thanks, Margaret!
DeleteTHE UNFINISHED GARDEN looks wonderful. My son has a 'touch' of OCD. It makes life hard, but most especially for him. Change makes him practically shut down or he has a major panic attack.
ReplyDeletemarypres(AT)gmail(DOT)com
Thanks, Marybelle. Change in everyday life can be crippling for our beloved obsessive-compulsives. And you're right: hard as it is for us as parents, it's a thousand times worse for them. HUGS.
DeleteI live in Western North Carolina - and, yes, it's a purdy place to go riding with the windows open shouting WHOOHOOO when your book(s) are published :-D
ReplyDeleteLove reading about author's "behind the scenes" *smiling*
Yay! I did that yesterday across rural Orange County. Only had a few strange looks from cows.
Deletezpmlynnewing@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful to have someone knowledgeable deal with this topic! Lynn Ewing
Thank you, Lynn. :)
ReplyDeleteAnother take at OCD in romance: "Highlights from a Life of Quiet Desperation" , a Kindle Single new release. Best regards.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your novel. We've been Facebook friends for a while and I'm looking forward to reading your novel for that reason and many more. I, too, have a character who has a "touch" of OCD and wrote this from my own perspective of having the disorder. Apparently, I was diagnosed at age 19 but my mother didn't bother telling me until I was 45 while in the doctor's office. Explains a lot, doesn't it?! My OCD has improved greatly over the years and most family members think I'm quirky and funny. Hmm.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to read your book and hope you'll read my debut, THURSDAYS AT COCONUTS. We can compare notes. :) My best to your son.