Clearing The Oprah Fog

By Ellen Meister

I'm excited to announce that my new novel, FAREWELL, DOROTHY PARKER, hits stores today. Since I've been a Dorothy Parker fan forever, this book that feels as if it's been a lifetime in the making.

And as I reflect about the road here, I'd like to share with you some thoughts about a problem so many of us writers have. I call it The Oprah Fog ...

E.L. Doctorow once said that writing a book is like driving a car at night. "You can never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."
            Very true. But sometimes, after the muse strikes, writers float into a seductive place where headlights do no good.  I call it the Oprah Fog—that cushiony mental space between the formation of an idea and the cold hard mechanics of executing it.     

            In this dreamy mist, we imagine words flowing effortlessly from our fingers to the keyboard. Frustrations will be minor and adorable, crumpled in pretty balls around the trashcan. We envision a cinematic shot of a bookstore window with our hardcover on glorious display. Even our morning coffee will taste better, as we linger over the newspaper, seeing our title climb the bestseller list. The book will be so beloved that Oprah will go back on network television just to interview us. We will wear great shoes and a beautiful suit. We will be thinner.

            There's nothing wrong with the Oprah Fog. It can, in fact, be a valuable vacation before the real work begins. But you have to know how to find your way out.

            Recently, one of my adult ed writing students came to me with a problem I had heard many times before. "I have a great idea," she said, "but I'm stuck. It's writer's block. I don't know what to do."

            "You don't have writer's block," I said. "You're in the Oprah Fog."

            She stared at me, her eyes light with hope. Did I know the way out? Had I been there myself?

            Of course. Even authors who have already traveled the twisty road to publication get bogged in the Fog sometimes.

             Not long ago, I had a spark that lit up my frontal lobe: My next novel would summon the ghost of  Dorothy Parker—arguably the greatest wit of the twentieth century. I would bring her spirit to life as mentor to a timid woman movie critic. I was so excited by this concept I didn't follow my usual course, which is to spend months making notes and working out the story, writing a few chapters to see if I could nail the voice, pace and characters, and finally constructing a loose outline to show my agent. This idea just felt too hot to sit on, and so I rushed to my agent's office and breathlessly pitched it, in much the same way I imagine movie people do. I got the exact response I had hoped for—electrified enthusiasm.

            Traveling home, I was abuzz. This would be my best novel ever! It would tear through the bestseller lists. Terry Gross would call me begging for an interview. Even erstwhile network television hosts would want me as a guest.

            Best of all, it would be easy to write. The storyline was already falling into place. The characters were almost fully formed. And I didn't even have to invent a voice for my main attraction. She already had one. I would simply reread Dorothy Parker's poems, stories, essays and letters, and I'd hear her perfectly. She would speak right through me.

            Except she didn't.

            Why? Because I was in the Oprah Fog. 

            So I did exactly what I advised my student to do. I put my fingers on the keys and started typing. I wasn't writing chapters yet, but making notes. And that's the thing about finding your way out of the Fog. The focus of writing is the exact thing that clears the air. So even if you feel stuck, doing your thinking on paper (virtual or actual) is the true beginning of your journey. Then, with your muse seat-belted in beside you, you can travel down even the darkest road, your highbeams lighting the way.

__________________________________

Ellen Meister's latest novel, FAREWELL, DOROTHY PARKER is in stores today. To order online, visit any cyber bookseller, including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, IndieBound, and Penguin. For more information visit ellenmeister.com. 

When the Parent Becomes the Student by Jenny Gardiner

I find that as a parent it’s easy to get caught up in being the teacher. While raising children for such an extended period of time, we have long been the ones in charge, the ones to impart lessons learned from our own hard-fought experiences (lessons our kids usually want nothing to do with learning). Moms and dads become habituated into being right, which isn't actually the best of habits, when it comes down to it. But now that my kids are grown, more and more I'm finding that they've become the teachers, and I their student (sometimes willing, sometimes not so much). It's an interesting twist on the relationship but in many ways things seem to come full circle, which is nice role reversal. Take for instance my son, who watched his peers signing on for big bucks jobs during the end of his senior year of college, and opted against that himself. Back when I was in college, that was pretty much what you did. (Well, except for those of us with degrees in Liberal Arts, who watched all of our peers making gobs of cash while we practically lived in cardboard boxes beneath bridge spans and begged for our supper). But nowadays I think our kids are learning that there's more to being happy than making lots of money. You're likely to be far more content when following your passion than filling your wallet. My son did just that, instead choosing to travel for a while after working hard in college. And in so doing, was able to grow so much as a human being, immerse himself in vastly different cultures, learn a new language, and find inner peace under fairy Spartan living conditions. He reveled in being able to go with the flow, to be happy in the moment, and really grew to understand the importance of hard work. Such essential lessons to learn at such a young age, and I envy him that he was able to do that before becoming entrenched in the have-to's of life. But not only did he do that, he also did it with a great level of fearlessness. So much of what holds us back in life is our fears: we need to arm our teachers for fear of random shooters, we practically strip naked (and remove our shoes) for fear of terrorists on planes, we need to live a life of fear in order to have a false sense of security. It's really a rather twisted way of living, when you think of it. At the end of the day, none of us has much control over our lives, and to spend so much of our waking hours trying to control things so that they don't go badly can end up being very self-defeating. You lose the true zest for life that way. And speaking of fears, my older daughter teaches me often how important it is to not let worries win the day. Despite overwhelming fear of the unknown in going off to live in another country for a semester, she sucked it up and did it. And then proceeded to jump out of an airplane over the Swiss Alps, travel alone, staying in sketchy hostels at times, and even camp in the Sahara desert in Morocco despite not speaking a word of the language, which made travel there challenging. She shunned her anxieties and allowed herself the gift of going off to quite literally explore the world. It's not an easy thing to do; it's far simpler to be paralyzed with fear, which is what so many people opt for. In addition, she has taught me so much about facing down adversity. In dealing with various medical problems over which she had no control, she has powered through hard times and kept a brave face going. It's more than many adults could do. My younger daughter has shown me what strength and determination and hard work will get you. She worked hard enough to gain admission to an Ivy League school, no small feat. But then she had the maturity to decide the massive debt accrued by enrolling in such a school made little sense, and instead knew she would be perfectly happy at a highly-respected but more affordable school. And she regularly proves to me that if you keep chipping away at a problem, a solution will be found. She has shown me time and again that if you fight through it, you will succeed. Unfortunately, sometimes reflected off my children are my own vast shortcomings -- those things I desperately need to improve upon. It's my kids who will call me to task for being intolerant or critical or shrill. They're the ones who will remind me to not be impatient, or nosy, or annoying. And they'll gladly wince while telling me my jokes are painfully bad. They're sometimes too quick to find my faults but that's okay, because it's honest. I may not like what I see in the mirror they're holding up to me, but what better way to know what to prove upon? I don't know, maybe I'm just inherently quite flawed and they're wise to it. But I'd like to think this is just how the world works, and I'm at the tipping point now. It's their turn to get even, in a good way. I've spent more than 20 years imparting my dubious wisdom on my kids, but it's abundantly clear they have much more to teach me: to follow your dreams, to do what makes you happy and happiness will follow, to struggle through adversity, to prove them all wrong. I have become the Grasshopper to their Master Po (Forgive my bad Kung Fu reference), and I'm honored to be learning at their feet now. Jenny Gardiner is mulling whether she has the courage to skydive too. Until then, you can find her at www.jennygardiner.net


  Sleeping with Ward Cleaver

Slim to None

Anywhere But Here

Winging It: A Memoir of Caring for a Vengeful Parrot Who's Determined to Kill Me

Accidentally on Purpose (written as Erin Delany)

Compromising Positions (written as Erin Delany)

I'm Not the Biggest Bitch in this Relationship (I'm a contributor)

And these shorts:
Idol Worship: A Lost Week with the Weirdos and Wannabes at American Idol Auditions

The Gall of It All: And None of the Three F's Rhymes with Duck

Naked Man On Main Street

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 find me on my website

Twenty-five Things I Know For Sure About the Writing Life

by Saralee Rosenberg

This year marks my twenty-fifth anniversary as an author and how wonderful that the silver has not yet tarnished. Eight of my books have been published, (four novels and four non-fiction titles), and yesterday I finished HOTLINE TO HEAVEN, my first novel for younger readers.

Reinvent yourself or die!

In honor of my two and a half decades in the trenches, here are twenty- five things I know for sure about the writing life. The list is meant to remind both the emerging and the experienced writer that there may be a million other ways to make a living, but few that are as exasperating lol. I meant rewarding. And exasperating!

How do you spell rejection? A-B-S-O-L-U-T

So for what it’s worth, here is my best advice:

1.     Readers, reviewers, agents and editors are idiots unless, of course, they love what you wrote. Just kidding. They may not “get” you but they know what they like so listen and learn. You just might discover your book's fatal flaw.

2.     Read the how-to books and blogs, take classes and spend the summer in Iowa. But at some point just write the damn story and let your characters be your guide.

3.     If you breathe life into your characters, by page 50 you'll hear the natal heart beat. And that is the point they are big and strong enough to take the story in the direction you had no idea you were going.

4.     If your characters are not leading the way by page 50, you made a wrong turn.

5.     When nothing is going right, go left.

6.     Input and feedback matter, but not too soon. The rush for accolades and encouragement can destroy potentially great ideas before they've had time to percolate. Resist the temptation to ask for comments until you're on solid ground.

7.     Input and feedback matter, but only from the right people. Those with an agenda or who like/love you too much to be brutally honest are doing you no favors. You only need a few trustworthy, gentle readers to keep you in check.

8.     Admire other writers but don't aspire to be them. We don't need Richard Russo light.  Aspire instead to bring yourself to the party. We'd love to hear YOUR voice.

9.     Just when your story feels like it's falling apart it may actually be falling into place.

10. Have faith.

11.  You can't edit what you didn't write.

12.  The Internet is a time suck. You show me an author who is jumping between Facebook and a manuscript and I'll show you an author who is writing crap.

13.  Yes, yes. Crap sells. That doesn't mean you have to contribute to the shlock pile. Give us your absolute best work.

14. Enjoy elation when it occurs. Whether it's finishing a book, getting an agent, an advance, a deal, a great review, an award, an interview, making the best-seller list or just hearing from a reader who sings your praises, take time to be excited. You get nothing in writing that guarantees it will ever happen again.

15.  Take criticism but not disrespect. Anyone who is rude, dismissive or mean spirited is not worthy of your time and talent.

16. If someone turns you down, move on. Every door that closes brings you one step closer to the door that was meant to open.

17. Follow your instincts and trust that your ideas are coming from a higher place. A place that honors you.

18. Write daring. Your job is to disturb the Universe.

19. Care a great deal about your well being and that of your characters.

20. Don’t waste time worrying about something that has not yet happened. There is a no-refund policy on time spent dwelling on the future. Worry only when a problem has presented itself and only if fixing the problem is within your power.

21. There are no such things as problems. Only opportunities to do things differently.

22. If you are writing to dazzle and impress then you should become a speech writer. Novelists will better serve their readers by telling stories that matter.

23.  Pushing to write a certain number of pages per day is like committing to driving a certain number of miles on a long road trip. You may arrive but you'll have missed the great scenery and possibly the turns that you should have taken.

24. Thank everyone you meet for whatever service, friendship or act of kindness they show you. This has nothing to do with writing, but an attitude of gratitude will lighten your load.

25. No matter what, if your blessings outweigh your burdens consider yourself among the very luckiest.

So that is it from the trenches. Happy writing. Oh and one last thing. Dream big! I did and it brought me to you.

Saralee Rosenberg

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Rewriting Valentines Day

By Leslie Lehr

Every Valentines Day is a love story, from the year you received three bouquets of roses (including the one from your dad), to the year you made pink oatmeal and drew hearts on your children’s cheeks, to the year your husband called cross country only to find out if his phone was working while you watched The Vagina Monologues alone in bed.

The story is the part that matters. So why not write your own? You can set the scene with sparkling champagne, fancy appetizers and a roaring fire to create page-turning suspense about what will happen next. Internal conflict may arise from nerves about your new lingerie; external conflict from kids opening school valentines in the next room. When you take control (even if that means buying your own damn flowers), the celebration can reveal your character and move your life forward, by answering a question about today and raising a larger one about the future.

Writing fiction works the same way.

Romance novels often follow a pattern: the first kiss, the first dance, then the proposal. Heaving bosoms and modern sex scenes can develop characters and add conflict by raising immediate questions of what will happen next. We know the lovers will unite at the end, so your love scenes serve to add spice to the larger question: how?

With dramatic fiction, the love story is a subplot that must serve the main story. Writing love scenes can slow down the narrative drive, so sex is often used as shorthand. But don’t shorthand your sex scenes. Just as you don’t want gratuitous sex on Valentines Day - okay, sometimes you do - in a novel, gratuitous sex tends to do little more than reveal character. If the scene doesn’t add new information, then it won’t move the story forward. If your reader can skip it, so should you. Worse, you are missing a great storytelling opportunity. Determine what needs to happen, then add the sex.

In my new novel, What A Mother Knows, there is plenty of romance and two actual sex scenes. One shows how far apart the couple has grown and inspires the protagonist to make a plan. The other is a surprise, and shows how she is literally taking control of her life. The seduction is descriptive enough that I’ll be embarrassed if my daughters read it, but it has every important story element: it strengthens character, adds new information, answers an immediate question, and raises a new one, driving the narrative forward.

Last night, I planned Valentines Day with my new husband (see the story here?) like a proper romantic scene: sparkling champagne, fancy appetizers, and a roaring fire. As luck would have it, there were some last minute revisions. I was too sick to drink, the appetizers burned, and we ran out of logs. But it still made a good love story, especially as a subplot of life. It answered the question of how we endure when romance eludes us, and raised the question of what happens next.

Are you ready to rewrite Valentines Day?  On paper or in real life, you have all the elements for a great story.

What A Mother Knows is available for preorder at your favorite bookstore and at www.leslielehr.com.

Check out Bachelor Sean wishing me well on my chemo journey at www.facebook.com/authorleslielehr (and to paraphrase Sally Field, please Like me).   Are you on Twitter?  I’m @leslielehr1      

xoxo

Author Valentine and Give-away

By Cindy Jones

As the person responsible for my book’s promotion, I speak to book clubs and library groups about my book, the creative process, and the journey to publication.  After such a talk where I had gone on for 40 minutes, sacrificing my husband and children for a laugh, baring my rejection history for a little sympathy, and explaining how my creative technique evolved from watching Gilligan’s Island as a child, someone raised their hand.  (I’m embarrassed to admit this).  The gentle book clubber asked, “What is your book about?”

I told her.

And then I went home and wrote on my note cards:  TELL THEM WHAT THE BOOK IS ABOUT.

Along these same lines, I realized I had gone on and on about Jane Austen, but I’d never bothered to say what I love about her nor why I devoted five years of my life and a book to her.  To correct this oversight, I have made new note cards for future book talks and next time, immediately following the elevator pitch* (the 90 second synopsis of my book), I’ll explain exactly why I love Jane Austen.

And since today is Valentine's Day I decided to share my reasons with you.  Here are five things I love about Jane Austen:

1. Jane Austen is an underdog.  She did not attend the Iowa Writers Workshop or the Bread Loaf Writer’s Conference.  She was poor and homeless, dependent upon her brother’s charity.  With almost no formal education, she read her way through her father’s library and wrote three novels by age 23.  She achieved supernova success with absolutely no advantages and articulated the question that resonates as powerfully today as it did in her time: what chance do the heart and mind have in a world dominated by money?  If she were alive now, I’m afraid she’d be stalked by paparazzi and featured on the cover of super market tabloids that I’d have to scan while pretending to look the other way.
2. Her dry wit cracks me up!   In her letters to her sister Cassandra, she says things like, “I shall not tell you anything more of William Digweed’s china, as your silence on the subject makes you unworthy of it.”  And, “You express so little anxiety about my being murdered under Ash Park Copse…that I have a great mind not to tell you whether I was or not.”   Her language is so precise, her insights sharp, and her wit so quick.  I foster no illusions about my own place at the sharp end of her pen.
3. She takes no prisoners.  Each of her six novels is lavished with excellent villains and when they meet their sorry fates it is with the most gratifying turn of the screw.  No quick and painless dispatch but a terribly personalized hell.  One of my favorite villains' fate is to spend her old age witnessing her spoiled niece’s disgrace.  Imagine the torture of living in close quarters with a whiner!
4. She didn’t marry the guy she didn't love.  I consider Jane Austen the Champion of Bookish Women.  She believed that intelligent women should marry for love, and told her niece, “nothing can be compared to the misery of being bound without Love…”  She didn’t love the one guy who proposed and rather than marry him and be assured of food and shelter for life, she remained true to her principles.  She walked the talk.
5. My heroine is unknowable.  A scholar has suggested that the hundreds of letters her sister burned after her death, and the posthumous re-branding of Aunt Jane by her nephew's biography left a blank slate upon which we can project our personal hopes and dreams.  Which may be why I feel that Jane Austen speaks to me from between the lines of her prose--and we agree on almost everything.  

I'm giving away a signed copy of My Jane Austen Summer as well as a package of Lily Berry's Pink Rose Tea in celebration of Valentine's Day.  Please tell--who is your Author Valentine and why do you love them?  One small reason will get your name entered in the drawing.  Open till midnight February 14.    

*Cindy Jones is the author of My Jane Austen Summer, the story of a young woman who thinks she may have realized her dream of living in a novel when she is invited to participate in a Jane Austen Literary Festival.  Her problems follow her to England where she must change her ways or face the fate of so many of Jane Austen’s secondary characters, destined to repeat the same mistakes over and over again.

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The most romantic movies ever!

By Hank Phillippi Ryan

I knw we're talking about marketing this month, and the juxtaposition of the impending Valentine's Day and marketing is almost irresistible. However! Let's talk about romance, okay? Because that's what we're supposed to think about on Valentine's Day.

Instead of  the crass "What's a good way to market a romance on Valentine's Day"--let's pretend to talk about writing. In a way.  How about: what's your favorite romantic movie? And why? And  because we're a value-added blog: what can we learn from this?  

I know what my husband would say. In fact, last weekend while I was writing a synopsis ( trying to, because there’s no way to write a synopsis, and I don’t even want to talk about it) anyway, last weekend while I was, um, writing, he was watching his most romantic movie of all time.

For Whom the Bell Tolls.

Later, I said—how was the movie, sweetheart?

And he—remember, hes a tough smart criminal defense attorney—could barely talk. It’s so sad, he said. You know they’re fighting the fascists?

Hank: Yeah.

Jonathan: And they almost all make it across the field on horseback to escape, even Ingrid Bergman?

Hank: Yeah.

Jonathan: And then..a horse falls on Gary Cooper and his leg is broken, and he can’t make it?

Hank: Yeah (I’m, thinking, war movies, I hate war movies.)

Jonathan: And so he tells Ingrid Bergman to go ahead, escape with the others. He tells her to leave him, but she won’t leave him?

Hank: Yeah (Getting interested, because I know what happens, and I can picture this, and whoa, it is..sad).

Jonathan: And then Gary Cooper says something like—You have to go, so I can be with you. Only if you go, will I be with you.  Meaning like, if she dies, her memory of him will die too. 

Okay, that’s romantic. It is. And that’s what we go for, isn’t it, when we write romance? In this particular case—okay its Hemingway, or Hollywood-ized Hemingway—but there’s no throbbing anything or pulsing anything or ripping off of clothing. It’s just pure emotion.

Remember Love, Actually? (I hope you’re saying: Awww, I LOVE that movie! Me, too.) Anyway, Jamie and Aurelia have fallen in love, and they can’t say a word about it, because (among other reasons) he only speaks English and she only speaks Portuguese, and then they have to go their separate ways. And then! He learns Portuguese, kind of, and he comes back and tells her, kind of, as we read in the closed captions:

Jamie: “Beautiful Aurelia, I've come here with a view of asking you to marriage me. I know I seems an insane person - because I hardly knows you - but sometimes things are so transparency, they don't need evidential proof. And I will inhabit here, or you can inhabit with me in England.”

And it turns out, Awwwww…she’s learned English! Kind of.

Jamie: “You learned English?”“

                                                           Aurelia: “Just in cases.”

Awww. “Just in cases.” How wonderful is that?  So, again, there’s no sweaty lust or body parts here, but only honest emotion. A whole crowd of people is watching. But it’s about—conflict, and desire, and devotion. And it’s so romantic! And we can watch it, over and over.

I Googled “most romantic movies of all time” and I must say, though the lists were similar, some of the one included were not my faves. The Notebook? Bridges of Madison County? Er..no.(Not for me, at least.) We could argue over The English Patient. But West Side Story? Dirty Dancing? When Harry Met Sally? Ghost? Casablanca? (Number one on so many lists…)

And You’ve Got Mail? So wonderful. And in the end they meet—with their real identities--and

Joe Fox: “Don't cry, Shopgirl. Don't cry. “

Kathleen Kelly: “I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly. “

Okay, what’s the point of this? Well, it’s fun to remember favorite movies, whatever the occasion. But for writers, and readers this pre-Valentine’s Day, it’s also educational to remember when and why romance works. And that often it’s more in your head, than in your…wherever else.

Happy Valentine’s Day! And what’s the most romantic movie you’ve ever seen? Why? A copy of the Agatha and Mary Higgins Clark–nominated THE OTHER WOMAN to a lucky commenter!

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Never Go (Book) Marketing Without A List

For a long time the word marketing meant, well, marketing. 

You know:

Milk

Eggs

Peanut Butter

Chocolate Chips

Apples

Cookies

Yogurt

COOKIES

But along comes the time when my life turns that term upside and around and marketing has nothing to do with food or rickety carts or special super sonic discount cards.  Jeez.  I’m so good at grocery shopping! Going to the supermarket. Marketing.  Whatever you want to call it.  I keep a running list through the week of what I need and want. I keep like-items together, sometimes I include recipes. Then, on a full stomach, I go off to the market, list in hand.  And aisle by aisle, I get what I need. Sometimes things I want. Sometimes what I want isn’t there and I either wait or make a substitution.

Hey wait! 

There is no reason that the principles of good food shopping can’t apply to good BOOK marketing. Here's a marketing list to get you started!  

• Keep a running list. Anytime an author does something you like, or something you don’t like, write it down. Start now so you don't forget anything you need. You know how you can spend $200 in the supermarket and leave without the milk?  Yeah, that. 
• Figure out what you need, and what you want.  You may want the red velvet cupcakes from the bakery section.  You may want coverage for your book on a snazzy website.  What’s the cost, financially, and to your ultimate goal? If you want to eat healthy, forego the cupcakes. Or buy one. If you are on a tight budget, find a less expensive (or free) way to market your book.  Maybe there’s another site just like it that will offer you the same benefits.  If you need something, figure out a way to get it done. If you want it, decide if it really belongs on the list. Remember, you can always make a new list later. 
• Search things out.  I don’t know about you but I’m relentless if there is something in a store that I want to find. Things are not always where you think they’ll be, are they?  Go searching through online and in-person marketing opportunities for your book like you were looking for an ingredient for a recipe for your very important person’s birthday. Be relentless.  It won’t come to you. I know this because I've waited. 
• Ask questions.  Gotta love the produce guy, right? He knows his stuff. He’s done this before and he’s the one who can show you how to pick a ripe cantaloupe.  Ask authors you admire how they found their favorite resources. Follow (stalk) authors and watch what they do. Do that. 
• Do what you enjoy.  Try new things, but if you like it, you’re more likely to be good at it, follow through, and have your message find the right readers and book buyers.  Book marketing is not one size fits all. Probably the reason I sometimes am tweaking dinner for different family members.
• Be polite. Others’ time and personal space matters in book marketing. A lot. It’s probably a good idea keep a fair distance in the other market too, so as not to bang your grocery cart into the back of anyone’s ankles. 

Amy Sue Nathan is the author of THE GLASS WIVES, forthcoming from St. Martin's Griffin, May 14, 2013.  She hosts the popular blog, Women's Fiction Writers, and tweets about writing, publishing and chocolate @AmySueNathan.