Life Imitating Art Imitating Life

by Susan McBride

As of 2011, I've reached 12 years as a published author, and I must say my career has been anything but boring. I started out writing mystery series before trying my hand at a non-mystery young adult series. Then I was offered the chance to do a women’s fiction stand-alone, THE COUGAR CLUB, which came out last year. I loved the freedom of writing a novel that wasn’t meant to lead into a second book and then a third. It was great knowing I could leave my three forty-five-year-old “Cougars” and move on once I’d gotten them to a pretty happy place (or at least a better place than they were in when the book started). It’s funny, though, how many people thought it was the start of a series with more to come. I’m not sure if my history as a series writer caused them to assume that or if it was the ending, which leaves a few unanswered questions, mostly in the vein of, “Will she or won’t she?”

I have trouble wrapping up a story so completely that there's no room to wonder. Isn’t that what makes real life so interesting: not knowing what each day will bring? For me, it’s the same with my novels. I know the characters will live and grow beyond the time I spend with them…unless I decide to blow them all up, which I’ve yet to do (but I have been tempted).

After COUGAR, I knew I wanted to write another women’s fic book, and I had an idea about a grown-up SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS (well, sort of). It involved a black dress that was worn by three different women, and it fit them all, no matter that they were different sizes. And it had an indelible impact on all of their lives. Although when I presented my first one-page synopsis to my agents, they were hardly bowled over. “Um, this isn’t it,” I remember them saying. “So take that premise and try again.”

I’m not sure what happened—or how—but it was likely in the shower or on the treadmill (two of my best idea places) when I realized what LITTLE BLACK DRESS was really about: two sisters from a generation back and the magical black dress one of them buys at a vintage shop the day before her wedding. She wears it that night and has a vision of her future that doesn’t involve the man she’s about to marry. She disappears to avoid marrying the wrong guy and she doesn’t come back for years, leaving her sister behind to pick up the pieces…and to discover for herself the secret of the little black dress (which she does, in spades).

When I sent this revised synopsis back to my agents, they were excited. “Yes, this is it! More please!” they said, and so I keep thinking and dreaming and writing. Pretty soon, I had a three page summary and 50 sample pages with the POV alternating between Evie, the “responsible” sister who must deal with Anna—her younger sibling—running off and leaving her behind, and Toni, Evie’s daughter, who’s made a life for herself in St. Louis but must return to her small Missouri town when her mom has a stroke. In the process of being home again, Toni has to confront her own past and all the skeletons buried in the closets of the old Victorian. What Toni discovers about Evie and Anna--and herself--is beyond surprising.

I had no idea when I embarked upon this multigenerational tale that I would feel such an emotional pull. Normally, when I write, I’m in such a zone that I don’t feel anything but eager. I don’t cry when my characters cry. I don’t laugh when they laugh. Okay, most of the time I don’t. But with LITTLE BLACK DRESS, I found myself gut-wrenched by the emotional scenes; maybe because so much was going on in my life in 2010 as I wrote it, like putting on a breast cancer fundraiser (I’m a survivor) and having my mom show up on my doorstep a week before the event saying, “I have breast cancer.” My reaction, "You're kidding, right?" She’s doing GREAT, thank heavens, as it was caught very early but it freaked me out just the same.

As if that wasn't enough, one of our cats got deathly ill and nearly died. She spent two days in the emergency vet hospital and underwent tons of tests and a blood transfusion then required twice a day meds and weekly vet visits for two and a half months. Since our three cats are like our children, Ed and I lived on pins and needles until we knew Blue would be okay.

It’s no wonder I felt drained while working on LBD, and I recall feeling particular angst while writing a scene with Evie suffering a miscarriage. I had never been pregnant so I could only imagine the devastation at losing a baby and the toll it takes on someone mentally and physically. I was weeping as I got through it. It was only after I turned the manuscript in before Thanksgiving that I found out I was about four weeks pregnant. Oh, boy, that explained a lot! Ed and I were over the moon.

Unfortunately, I miscarried on New Year’s weekend (yeah, Happy New Year!). I had to revise the book—and tweak the miscarriage scene—barely three weeks after. It broke my heart a second time, but maybe in some way it helped me get through it. Writing is like that for me, it’s my personal therapy and maybe why my characters endure so much; because I can work through my own heartache through them.

It's strange when life imitates art when it's usually art imitating life. Although I tell myself that everything I do is purely made up, I realize pieces of me seep in, no matter how hard I try to keep myself out of it. Still, all of our experiences shape us in various ways, hopefully making us more empathetic people and better writers, too. Every hardship or devastation or brilliantly happy moment lends itself to stronger characters and a more believable story. It makes me feel good to think so anyway!

Susan McBride is the author of Little Black Dress coming out as a William Morrow trade paperback in September (yes, the date was just moved up from December!). She has also written The Cougar Club, a Target Bookmarked Breakout Title and a Midwest Connections Pick, as well as five Debutante Dropout Mysteries and several "Debs" young adult books. For more scoop, visit SusanMcBride.com.