Sunday, September 23, 2012

A Change is Gonna Come

By Marilyn Brant

My son started 8th grade a few weeks ago and, as always, the end of summer/beginning of a new school year is a time of transition. There are new classes and new teachers but, because it's the same building with many of the same students in it, there's not as much change for him (or for us) as there had been last year when he began junior high. And certainly it doesn't approach what we expect for next year when he'll be entering high school. (OMG... :-)

So, it's transition of the average variety -- like a jar of Medium salsa at the grocery store. More noticable in spice than the Mild. Not nearly as tongue-burning as the Hot. But change can be cumulative. And, as with salsa, even medium levels can get to you after a while.

For me, I'm in a similar kind of transitory state with my writing. I'm aware that the changes are not so obvious to others but, yet, I can feel them. Sense them starting to heat everything up.

With this writing game, I've already gone through some years of massive change. Getting that first traditional NY contract and all of the crazy hours of work that went into preparing for a debut release...that was a year of greater stress than I ever would have imagined. Notable, too, in that I had no idea until then that I could be so scared about something that didn't involve the health of a loved one. I spent most of 2009 in an emotional state somewhere between frenzied and panicked. I'll admit, I'm not anxious to repeat a year packed with as much change as that!

And last year, I took my first dip into the digital/self-publishing waters and was, again, floored by a whole new set of skills that needed to be developed and topics that inspired a new realm of personal fears. (If I've learned nothing else about the publishing journey, it's that I have an apparently unlimited capacity to find new things to worry about...) 2011 was a big, exciting leap, nonetheless.

Over the next few months, there will be some additions to my author bookshelf. I'm excited about these stories and delighted to share them with my readers, but their genres and their publishing formats traipse over territory I've covered before. It's like being an 8th grader. There'll be some surprises and a few challenges, I have no doubt, but I've walked down those hallways already. I can recognize my peers and wave to them. And I'm as comfortable as I can be with my circumstances, given that adolescence (whether in writing or in life) is never actually easy for anyone.

But I'm aware that much larger changes are on the horizon for me and, with them, a transition that I'll have to seriously prepare for emotionally as well as professionally. That this year is a bit of a reprieve from the intensity to come, but I know better than to think the relative calm will last.

Here's why: Because what I'm writing about, as evident by my last completed manuscript and my current work-in-progress, is changing. And it's changing because I -- the writer -- am also changing.

I've been noticing that the stories that now compel me enough to be worth fighting for (you know the kind I mean -- the ideas that keep us awake at night, make us battle our darkest demons, inspire us to edit the same words over and over again until they're blurry before our eyes but, hopefully, clearer to our audience) don't entirely resemble the stories I was driven to write twelve years ago when I began my first manuscript. They're even different in some significant aspects from the novels I was writing just three or four years ago.

And I hadn't expected that. I hadn't anticipated -- in a very real and persistent way -- to need to change. Getting to a level of comfort with any part of the publishing process takes so damn long... So, I thought, once I'd mastered a certain set of skills, once I'd understood a particular market, once I'd found a collection of topics fascinating to write about, etc., that I could just be happy staying in that niche and carrying on indefinitely, going along my merry little way without stopping cold at any time or needing a whole new set of directions.

Turns out, no.

Not every single thing is different now, of course, but there's enough that I need to rethink most of what I've been doing, and I'll have to decide which writing habits and story elements to keep and which to let go. And, while I'll confess to being envious of writers who can remain committed to one genre, a handful of themes and certain sets of characters for decades, I've discovered I'm not one of them. As novelists, we're drawn to fiction for different personal reasons, and I can't pretend to be content with someone else's method of facing the writing life when it's not my own.

So, I guess, for me -- or for anyone else who may be experiencing something similar -- the first step toward handling such a transition is recognizing that we can't wish it away, even if it would be easier or less frightening to ignore it. The second step is to figure out what, exactly, must change...and why. And the third would be to get ready as best as we can, knowing that the only certainty is that this won't be the last change in our writing lives, just the next one.

What about you? Have you ever switched genres or narrative styles? Do you write in two or more totally different genres at once? I'd love to know ;).

---
Marilyn's latest novel, A Summer in Europe (Kensington, Dec. 2011) was chosen as a Literary Guild, BOMC2 and Rhapsody Book Club pick, and it deals with life change and learning to open oneself up to experience. About the novel, Publishers Weekly wrote that it "distinguishes itself with a charismatic leading man and very funny supporting cast, especially the wonderful elderly characters with their resonant message about living life to the fullest."

18 comments:

  1. Great post, Marilyn!! I've been sticking with the same genre this whole time, but I do think about branching out. Maybe that will be MY next transition! :)

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    1. Thanks so much, Brenda!!
      I think the genres to me are a bit like dishes at a buffet -- I just want to try them ALL :).
      xox

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  2. I hear what you're saying, Marilyn. I started out doing fairly light stuff and after I got my MFA, I thought I'd continue in that vein and my muse seems to have other ideas. Weird how that goes, huh?

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    1. Karin,
      Yeah, it's definitely been weird... I really hadn't expected the muse to be quite so powerful and so able to force a change of direction like that. I foolishly thought I'd had more control, LOL.

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  3. Well my first post disappeared :(
    So I'll just say Marilyn it takes a very courageous author to fight for what they want, I respect your decision and want you to know that I would follow you to whatever genre you decide to fall into.
    xoxo
    deb

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    1. Deb,
      Sometimes Blogger just gobbles comments and we don't know why!
      Thank you for always being so supportive and for being a friend to me through every season -- you're *wonderful* and I feel so very lucky to know you.
      xox

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  4. Marilyn,

    beautiful post. the idea of change is one that so few people truly embrace and to get at it as a writer is tricky. I'm currently living in that emotional state you describe and the best hope I have is that after being buffeted by frenzy and panic a few of my rough edges get polished. What a wonderful lesson to present to your son, that embracing change is good. Thanks for the insightful post.

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    1. Courtney,
      Thank you so much. I appreciate knowing I'm not the only one who struggles with this, and I *loved* what you wrote about how being buffeted by frenzy/panic might polish the rough edges. What a truly wonderful perspective! I'm so glad you shared it!!

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  5. Marilyn,

    beautiful post. the idea of change is one that so few people truly embrace and to get at it as a writer is tricky. I'm currently living in that emotional state you describe and the best hope I have is that after being buffeted by frenzy and panic a few of my rough edges get polished. What a wonderful lesson to present to your son, that embracing change is good. Thanks for the insightful post.

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    1. Sometimes Blogger eats comments, other times it double posts them, LOL!! Thanks again for your lovely insights :).

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  6. I am adding a new genre to my portfolio and am comforted to remember what Lisa Gardner said when she switched from romance to thrillers. "I had to learn to write all over again."
    In some ways, it's even harder than the first time, for we must UN-learn how to write what we know how to write!

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    1. Blythe,
      Thank you! Yes, that's exactly what it feels like sometimes. I wrote two new pages this morning, and then I needed to take a half-hour nap -- it was exhausting :). Looking forward to reading whatever you write next!

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  7. Marilyn, wonderful post as usual! Change is the only thing we can be certain of, and if we're not changing as writers, we aren't growing. I too, am dipping my toe into new waters, going back to writing some contemporary romance (my first love) and finding it exhilarating :)

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    1. Maria,
      I'm so glad you're enjoying the writing so much. I'll always love contemporary romance, too! Enticing men, steamy scenes, that guaranteed happily ever after...swoon :). Can't wait to read whatever story you publish next, but I have to add that I *loved* A GIRL LIKE YOU!

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  8. Wonderful post Marilyn and you’ve given me a lot to think about. I see a change with each new thing I write. It seems my tone is always evolving as I “grow up” a bit in my writing. I think it gets better though the more I stay true to my real voice and try and not filter too much.

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    1. Kwana,
      Thank you!! And I know just what you mean about your tone evolving. I've felt that as well with my own stories. It's interesting, too, what you said about trying not to filter too much so you stay true to your real voice. I think that's probably the ultimate writer's goal -- to remove just enough so that our narrative is as clear as possible while still sounding the most like ourselves...

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  9. As a high school teacher, I totally admire anyone who survives a kid getting through junior high. Kudos for that alone. I, too, feel a change is coming, but I'm not sure if I have the courage to step away from the predictable/ordinary. But i'm feeling squirmy, and I know that's the stirrings of unrest or maybe growth? Your post is both reassuring and challenging...thanks for sharing.

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    1. Oh, Christa, thank you for the kudos. I'm sending them right back to you for being a high school teacher!! My husband teaches h.s. sophomores, so I know that's no small feat ;). And, yeah, to that squirmy feeling. When I'm in a slightly more confident place, I like to think of the need for change as "growth," but I find myself doubting everything on those days when the fear comes out, wondering if I'll be able to adapt the way I need to. Wishing the whole profession/calling were easier for all of us... xox

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