Ah, the life of a writer. So easy! So profitable.
So....not.
It's more like this.
This is me. Sitting down to write.
Oh god. Why, oh, why didn't the magic elves of writing fix my POS while I was sleeping? You mean I have to fix it myself????
I delete the word very from a sentence. Two paragraphs later, I insert the word pretty. Then I delete six paragraphs and, hey! I think I'm hungry. Toast. I need toast. Every writer needs toast from time-to-time.
In the kitchen.
What kind of toast should I make? Wow, the sink is full of dirty dishes. I CANNOT enjoy my toast, let alone write, knowing the sink is full of all the knives. NO WORRIES! I use a spoon to spread butter on my toast.
I'm reminded of the time, in a past day job, when I got an email from someone saying, "I always read your emails. You're so funny!"
I love fan mail.
Son: Mom? Are you cooking dinner tonight?
Me: No.
Back at the computer.
I think I made the wrong kind of toast.
For the next fifteen minutes, I stare out the window as I follow a plot point through the mental maze of my mind. (It's a scary place.) If I do THAT, then later, THIS will happen, and then I will have to delete most of my brilliant chapter five. But yes! It's so much better if I do that other thing!
SQUIRREL!!!
I write, and it's like pulling teeth. Shut up, internal editor. I don't need you telling me that sucks. I'm doing my DRAFT! Go away.
Three more paragraphs deleted.
Did they use that word in 1817? I better look that up. Google Books. Oh, wow. That looks like a book I should download for my reference library. Seven downloads later, I still don't know if that word was used in 1817, but I have SEVEN AWESOME period books for the research library.
Oh, hey! I wonder if I have any important emails? (Nope) I should check facebook because I've made a solemn vow to do better at facebook. Oh look! A new LIKE! And a comment about the cute picture I posted of my dog. Which reminds me, I should go play with her.
Outside.
While I'm throwing sticks for the dog, I realize I've started my book in the wrong place. My current chapter 15 needs to be chapter 1. WHY, WHY WHY!!!! could I not have had that revelation when I was at the computer?
The dog isn't tired. At all. But I am because, actually, though she loves when I throw sticks for her, she's not all that hot on bringing them back so I'm constantly running down the slope to fetch the stick she wouldn't bring back.
Back at the computer.
I spend the next four hours rearranging all my chapters and at the end, somehow I'm 500 words over my minimum word count. WOOT!!
Shameless Promotion Section
Using a method remarkably like the one above, I have indeed, completed a book. My Darkest Passion. It's on sale now. My website has a collection of places you can buy the book.
Addison O’Henry has no idea magic is real or that the fragile peace between the magekind—humans who can use magic—and demons is about to shatter. All that changes the day she’s abducted by one of the magekind. After a ritual murder goes horribly wrong, Addison ends up with demon-sourced magic that nearly kills her. But for the intervention of demon Harsh Marit, she might not have survived. Though Harsh does what he can to help her return to what used to be normal, they both know her life will never be the same.
With corrupt mages threatening them both, her honor requires her to help Harsh and the demon warlord he serves. If that means accepting her power and the high rank it confers on her, so be it. Now her once distant relationship with Harsh turns hot and immediate as the two of them explore the dark passion of a forbidden relationship.
Lol!I like your blog post....
ReplyDeleteGod, I know exactly what you're talking about! Sometimes, I wonder even why I like to write when it is obviously so difficult for me to concentrate. It's like I have ADD or something when I write. :) :D
ReplyDeleteLove this, Carolyn!! This post just made me think: I am not alone!! And now I'm totally in the mood for toast.
ReplyDeleteOMG...you've been looking over my shoulder?!
ReplyDeleteFA Ellis, Thatartsygirlsbookblog: Thanks so much.
ReplyDeleteBrenda: Toast. It's good food.
Christa: We're writing twins, obviously!