By Karin Gillespie
Post originally appeared at South Journal 85
I once ran into a Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist in
a ladies’ room at a writer’s conference. She slipped into a stall and I could
hear her peeing. The whole time I was thinking, “Pulitzer Prize-winning
novelists have to pee?”
Obviously they do. They also probably burp and
sneeze and maybe even snore but their writing is so impressive sometimes it’s
hard for me to imagine it comes from mere mortals.
In fact, when I was a beginning writer I used to
assume that certain authors had a direct pipeline to the writing gods who sent
them down a steady supply of flawless prose anytime they sat down at a
computer. I also thought that these gods were exceedingly elitist, and only
showered special writers with their gifts.
When I put my fingers on the
keyboard, I imagined the gods rolling their eyes and saying, “Her again? Toss
down a few clichés and some stilted sentences. That’s all that hack deserves.”
But then one night, many years ago, I was writing a
freelance theater review on “Richard III” for my local newspaper; it was a rush
job and had to be completed in two hours. I was in panic because I’ve never
written anything decent in that period of time, and I was still pretty new to
the writing game.
I threw myself into the review and the next day when
I read it in the paper, I was afraid it was going to be terrible, but, to my
surprise, it was fresh and invigorating. In fact, it was so good I couldn’t
believe I’d actually written it.
Getting Out of Your Way
Artists at
all levels of mastery have had similar experiences. I once read that the actor
Lawrence Olivier came off the stage after his most brilliant performance of his
life. Supposedly he said, “I know it was my best work ever, but I have no idea
how I can replicate it.”
I can relate to his bewilderment. How can we repeat
those moments in writing when we are just not at our best, but better than our
best? How can we more consistently unearth gems and gold doubloons instead of
old shoes and rusty nails?
The obvious advice applies: learn your craft, keep
butt in chair. But I would also add some additional advice: Get the hell out of
your way.
I think the reason my theater review was so good was
because I didn’t have time for my usual writing mind-crap, i.e., the need to impress,
the near constant belittling, and the occasional delusions of grandeur. My mind
was clear and focused on my purpose, making me an excellent conduit for the
writing gods’ gifts.
Tricking Yourself
Of course getting out of your way is easier said
than done. For me, meditation helps enormously. Twenty minutes every day I sit
and listen to the voices in my head. The more I observe those voices in action,
the more I understand how frequently they undermine my creative work. They are
like kindergarteners in need of a nap. They always seize onto first idea because
they want to get the writing over with or they’re attracted to derivation
because, “it made that other kid famous and I want to be famous too.” Or they
resist a needed revision because, “It’s good enough. I’m so sick of this.”
It’s seems ludicrous that we would actually listen
to these wrongheaded voices, but the truth is, many of us not only listen to
them but are ruled by them. Meditation doesn’t completely quiet them, but we
are also less likely to give into their wily demands.
Sometimes I’m tempted to yell at these voices, “Quit
being such brats!” but I think it’s a better strategy to be kind and patient
with them and say, “You kids play nice for a while. I have to work right now.”
Then I sit down and write my head off before the
voices get restless. Does this make me write like a Pulitzer Prize-winning
novelist? Nope. I still write like Karin Gillespie but sometimes, with the help
of the writings gods, I write even better than she does.
Karin Gillespie is the author of five novels and has MFA in
creative writing from Converse. Dig this post? There's more where that came from: Sign up for my mailing list here
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