I want to be my own hero

by Maria Geraci

I'm sure I'm not the only person who watched Matthew McConaughey's speech at the Oscars last Sunday and thought Wow. And not because Matthew is looking good again (as opposed to how he looked in Dallas Buyer's Club--a very fine film, btw). But because his speech was just so damn inspiring.

In case you missed it, he told us about the 3 things he needs every day.

1. Something to look up to
2. Something to look forward to
3. Someone to Chase

Like a lot of people in the TV audience, I was touched by his first 2 responses. He looks up to God. And he looks forward to his family. Can't argue with that. But it was his answer to his 3rd need that made me sit up and spill the popcorn.

Who does Matthew McConaughey chase? Who's his hero? His hero is him. Ten years from now. 
"My hero's always going to be me 10 years away."

He went to explain that he doesn't expect to ever catch up to what his idea of his own self should be, but that it's a goal he aspires to. It's what he chases.

He then ended his speech with a rousing "Alright, alright, alright." And a room full of laughter and applause.

 

 

Despite the ridiculously late hour, my brain immediately went into overtime. Hey, I thought, I want to my own hero too! And I began to think back to the me I was 10 years ago, when I'd just barely finished my first manuscript and was toying with the idea that maybe one day I could really be published.

Fast forward those 10 years. I have 4 published novels and my last one was nominated for a RITA, Romance Writer's of America's highest award. I've achieved things that the pragmatic part of me wouldn't have thought possible.

But am I satisfied with my writing career today?

 No. I'm not. And I shouldn't be.

Because although I've achieved some really good stuff, I should want more. I want to be a better writer. A more successful writer (because there's nothing wrong with that) and yes, I'm not ashamed to admit that I'd love to be a New York Times best seller. I want to be able to quit the day job and write full time. I want to give back more to the writing community that has given so much to me.

In the words of Matthew McConaughey, I want to my own hero in 10 years. I want to chase myself. The me I know I can be if I work hard and stay steady.

Who do you want to be in 10 years?






Maria Geraci writes fun, romantic women's fiction. You can visit her website at www.mariageraci.com.

Push Push in the…Oh never mind…By Jenny Gardiner

It seems the themes at the Girlfriends Book Club of late are keeping me honest…this time around? How do I finish the book I'm writing? That's a hell of a question!

 This easily segues from my post last month, in which I think I first spoke about The Book (make that manuscript). This would be the one I've picked up and put down countless times over the past several years. It has transformed and been revised myriad times (I should say chapters here and there have been revised, since not enough has been written to constitute it being an actual book revision (insert laughter here). My first chapter alone has had so many incarnations it might well be mistaken for a cat plowing through those nine lives.

 Believe me, I have had plenty of reasons to give up on this thing. I think what's kept me coming back to it is when I've eventually reviewed the chapters here and there that I've written, I am pleasantly surprised and -- dare I say it -- impressed with what I've written. It's what motivates me: it's been like passing a kidney stone the size of an elephant. I'd hate to go through all that pain without a positive outcome.

 I have had many days in which I struggle for each sentence. This is so abnormal for me. I used to be able to crank out books with no hesitation. I could not write for months on end, then sit down and binge-write, and crank out the book I'd intended. But this book, it's stymied me. During the course of writing this, I've vacillated, I've alternated, I've roamed hither and yon in the quest to figure out what it was I was writing. Used to be I'd write a book in a fairly linear manner. I knew my starting point and I knew my ending, and the rest sort of sprung up organically. With this one, I've changed my intent, changed my theme, changed my characters, changed their jobs, changed their relationship, changed other characters, changed the intended outcome. Right now I'm still undecided about the final outcome and as I'm nearing a deciding point, I still can't pick which one is the best plan of action. But the great thing is I'm finally nearing that point, a point at which I never thought this book would reach.

I put this book down so many times for a variety of reasons. Other jobs got in the way of it. Dealing with marketing and publicizing other books posed obstacles. Life events added more roadblocks. And then there were times I was so purely stuck, I just couldn't figure it out, and procrastination seemed an easier solution. But I need to finish it. I can't let this half-written tome languish in my laptop, never to find an audience. I need to finish it so that I can have the satisfaction of tackling the untackleable. And so I have struggled through this thing, sometimes one word at a time.

Frustratingly, when I've returned to it after putting it away yet again, I have to pore through the entire thing, mulling over the slightest changes, refining and attempting to make this thing the best it can be. It's become my Moby Dick (insert more laughter here). Yikes -- maybe it's like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction when you think she's dead but she pops up yet again with that butcher knife.

 Sometimes I allow myself to get sidelined by the what ifs. What if I can't find a publishing house for it? What if this book isn't "big" enough? Big, high concept books get the attention of your publishing house, whereas lesser ones flounder and die if you publish through mainstream houses. But now I am happy to know that if I can't weed through the finicky world of mainstream publishing anymore, I'll just publish it myself. And it'll be a terrific novel and people will enjoy it.

 When I first started this book, self-doubts brought on by this Goldilocksian publishing industry really undermined my confidence, and allowed me to allow myself to be distracted by the potential for failure. But now I'm motivated to a) make this book the best it can be, b) sell it well, whether that is through a New York house or on my own, and c) finish it now. No more dithering. With each word I've squeezed out of my brain, with each chapter I've concluded, with each page I've counted as complete, I build in confidence and in knowing that this work in particular I earned, through the blood, sweat and tears it took to get me there.

 So how to I motivate myself through? I just do it. I need to succeed with this, I can't let my self-doubts get the better of me. I can't let external forces drive my end results. I can only control what I can control, and that means the final words on the page. I remember years ago hearing John Grisham talk about having to put your butt in the chair and write, every single day, that you're not really a writer if you don't do that. Back then I didn't buy into that concept because I didn't write in that way; I wrote in blasts, then nothing, and that used to work. But now, I'm subscribing to the butt in chair school of writing, and you know what? He's right. You can't publish it if it's not written.

 So now, back to work…I'll keep you posted!


  Sleeping with Ward Cleaver

Slim to None

Anywhere But Here

Winging It: A Memoir of Caring for a Vengeful Parrot Who's Determined to Kill Me

Accidentally on Purpose (written as Erin Delany)

Compromising Positions (written as Erin Delany)

I'm Not the Biggest Bitch in this Relationship (I'm a contributor)

And these shorts:
Idol Worship: A Lost Week with the Weirdos and Wannabes at American Idol Auditions

The Gall of It All: And None of the Three F's Rhymes with Duck

Naked Man On Main Street

find me on Facebook: fan page
 find me on twitter here
 find me on my website

Five Tips for Finishing Your Novel

By Ellen Meister

If you’ve ever started a novel, chances are you know this feeling: You hit the ground running with a great idea. You’re in love with your concept, your main characters, your minor characters, your setting and the direction of your story arc. Everything is go go go.

And then one day … it stops.

 It’s not even a screeching halt, but a soft, quiet nothing. You stare at the page—okay, screen—waiting. Your cursor blinks in mute judgment. But your mojo is a no-show. What’s a writer to do?

 It’s not the time to give up, but to change gears. Here are five tips to restart your engine.

 1. Make notes 
This is my secret weapon for defeating writer’s block, which I believe is nothing more than reaching a point in your story where you need to make some new decisions. Indeed, I think writer’s block is simply the mistake of believing the answers are going to be handed down to you from some magical benevolent muse. Trust me, it doesn’t happen like that. At least not for most of us.

So here’s what I recommend: open up a Word document and go at it. Write down where you are in the story and why you can’t move forward. Write down every possible direction the story can go in and what the ramifications are. Go on for pages and pages if you have to. You are essentially thinking on paper. Don’t make the mistake of believing that daydreaming in the shower or on your morning walk is just as good. It isn’t. Writing it down forces you to focus, and employs a different part of your brain. I promise you that this method will work and you will find the answers. Remember the quote from artist Chuck Close: Inspiration is for amateurs—the rest of us just show up and get to work.

2. Set weekly goals 

Many writers have daily word count goals, and that’s fine. God knows I’ve done it myself. But I find that weekly goals can work better. First, you have to decide on a realistic page/word count. For example, let’s say you can comfortably write ten pages (roughly 2500 words) per week. Make that an absolute rule for yourself. And here’s a tip for making sure you stick with it—use your calendar to set expectations. Let’s say, for instance, you’re stuck at page 60. Decide that you’ll be at page 70 by Friday, and write that number down on your calendar. Write 80 on the following Friday, and so on, until you reach the approximate number of pages your novel will be upon completion. This will do wonders for helping you stay on track.

3. Set deadlines 
There’s nothing like the pressure of a looming deadline to force you past your writer’s block. So if you’re not writing under contract with a do-or-die date hanging over you, create your own. Using the method above, decide on a realistic date for finishing the book and mark it on your calendar with a fat red pen. Go to sleep each night thinking about that date, and how glorious it will be to have a finished book by then.

4. Get a critique pal 
If you can find another writer whose judgment you trust, trading chapters for critique can be helpful not just for feedback, but for keeping you on track. You and your partner will be eager to send off those pages for feedback. There’s a lot to be said for having someone to answer to.

 5. Read 
Nothing opens your mind to inspiration like reading. And yes, I believe you should be reading even while you’re in the middle of working on your own book. Maybe even especially when you’re working on your own book. Your mind will be so receptive to learning that you’ll get something out of every book you read. It might be a small lesson, like how to handle a certain kind of transition in time, or a major epiphany, like realizing you need a significant turning point in the middle of your book. Reading is your best teacher.

  _________________________________________________

Ellen Meister is the author of four novels, including Farewell, Dorothy Parker and The Other Life. She teaches creative writing at Hofstra University Continuing Education, and runs a popular Dorothy Parker page on Facebook. For more information visit her website at www.ellenmeister.com.

Break on Through to the Other Side

by Maggie Marr

Tonight, as I write this, I am exhausted. Whipped. Tired. A half centimeter to the left of drained. I have 66 pages to edit on my latest book and it is 11:08 pm. I usually get up at 4 am to write and go to bed by 9, but tonight, well tonight was family night. Plus a few documents for clients hit my inbox. Documents that had to be turned around by tomorrow. Thus my late night and perhaps my fatigue.

But fatigue is not an excuse to not write. Neither is exhaustion, jobs, children, in-laws, graduations, vacations, husbands, parents or [insert ANY excuse here]. I will give illness a pass as long as you're sporting a fever. Really there is no valid excuse not to make your fingers do the tippity-tappity dance across the keyboard. None. Nada. You either want to finish the manuscript or you don't. You either sit your ass in the chair or you don't. You either work harder for the win than the next person or you don't.

These are simple facts. They are so basic they remind me of 2 + 2 = 4. And yet these are facts that I attempt to avoid ALL THE TIME. My attempt is due to FEAR. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of exposure. Fear of ... who the hell knows what else, but fear. Fear is a four letter word, and I love most four-letter words. I have the mouth of a well-educated sailor. But the word F-E-A-R well that one scares the heck out of me.

My fear is a conundrum and the way I tame that fear is counterintuitive. I must surrender to my fear. I accept that fear is part of my process and sometimes, fear is even my friend.

My process usually involves the following:

1. Think of FABULOUS title.

2. Hear voices of characters. Learn names.

3. Begin first draft.

4. Have no idea how to get from middle of Act 2 to beginning of Act 3.
    4.5 Pull out hair.
    4.6 Gnash teeth.
    4.7 Pace, eat potato chips, watch trashy TV, sometimes forget to shower.

5. Finish first draft.

6. Realize fabulous title is NOT fabulous. Rename project.

7. Put book away and vow only 2 weeks!

8. 2 weeks becomes 3 weeks.

9. 3 weeks becomes...OH SHIT I HAVE A DEADLINE.

10. Pull out book. Read.

11. See 4.5-4.7

12. Begin NEVER ENDING REWRITE THAT I WILL DIE TRYING TO DO.

13. See 4.5-4.7

14. Edit horrible book.

15. Send to editor.

16. Reread and love.

17. 24 hours later reread and hate.

18. More passes. More edits. Again can NOT find solution to end of 2nd act beginning of 3rd act problem that at this point may or may not exist. Who knows??

19. Loathe this project.

20. New project, new characters whisper love-nothings in my ear (Worthless Whores! (please see above reference to Sailor Swearing)) as I grow weary of current project. 

21. Finally send off book.

22. See 4.5-4.7

23. Feel brief, ever-fleeting sense of accomplishment.

24. Begin new project. See 1

25. Reminisce about project when book pubs. 

And yet, I LOVE THIS JOB. Crazy? Well, yes. Of course. Who willingly does the above over and over and over again (now more than 10 times). No one is forcing me to write -- well except those characters in my head whispering to me. I've tried to stop writing, but they continue to whisper.

All through the above there is FEAR and LOVE. I live that battle day in and day out. Every day. I give love the advantage by telling myself there is no excuse, by forcing my butt into the chair, by truly enjoying my characters and my stories and this brilliant beautiful gift that whatever Force runs this universe gave me. A gift, of which I am not yet worthy, nor is my craft good enough to do justice. I ask myself, who am I to turn my back on such a gift? What hubris to let my petty human FEAR destroy this gift and win out over LOVE.

No, not I. I will not fail in this fight, even when it involves bags and bags of potato chips. Yes, I will sacrifice my thighs for my art. I will get through 1-25 over and over and over again and I will always break through to the other side.

Broken Glamour, a project that I love and now fondly remember.


Maggie Marr is an author and attorney. The Glamour Series is her latest new adult contemporary romance series. Hard Glamour published January 2014 and Broken Glamour publishes spring 2014. She is also the author of the Hollywood Girls Club Series, Courting Trouble, and Can't Buy Me Love. Please click here to get Maggie's newsletter. She won't get spammy, but she will give one lucky subscriber a gift every time she sends a newsletter. Maggie lives and works in Los Angeles.  
 

Somebody to Lean On

by Marilyn Brant

I hope the title makes you all start swaying and singing, too, because friends don't let friends do karaoke alone. C'mon, I wanna hear ya now, "We all need, somebody to lean on..."

This writing gig is a tough journey. 

I tend to be pretty independent but, after more than a decade of writing and publishing, it's been proven to me again and again that this isn't a career path I'd want to travel without a support system. That support system doesn't have to traipse around with me constantly in my daily life. Virtual pals are great, too, although it's nice to have both. What it does have to be is genuine. I think we've all experienced the sting of thinking someone is a friend because they act nice on the surface, only to find they've been talking about us behind our backs, feeling resentful when things are going our way or, even worse, gleeful when things aren't. But when you find someone who is truly supportive, I don't think even the best writing tools on the planet are more effective than such a friend at helping us work through those rough patches.

When I first began taking fiction writing seriously, my only support system was my family, specifically my husband. (My son was too little back then to do anything other than shred my manuscript pages or, occasionally, chew on one.) I didn't know ANY professional writers of any kind and didn't have a clue about the process. So, until I'd finished writing my first draft, I didn't tell my parents, my husband's parents, or even my brother that I was working on a novel. Once they knew, they were tremendously supportive, especially my husband's mom, who must have earned several heavenly medals in the mother-in-law sainthood category after reading and giving me feedback on THREE different drafts of my first dreadful, deservedly unpublished manuscript. (And then the dear woman read my second manuscript. And my third. And my fourth. And most of what became my debut novel, According to Jane. She was incredible...) 

My brother, who couldn't be more of a macho-cool guy and a fan of bloody thrillers, surprised me by asking to read a number of my early romance, chick-lit, and women's fiction efforts. My son, who's still a bit young to be reading most of my books, learned to give Mommy time to write uninterrupted and, when that failed, my very sweet husband learned that an evening of bonding with his son (out of the house) was right up there chocolate, roses, and whispered sweet nothings.

But strong support on the home front, while priceless, wasn't the only kind I knew I needed. I somehow lucked into getting involved with my local RWA chapter (Chicago-North), and this helped me branch out into meeting other aspiring writers online and, eventually, at conferences and in person, from all around the world. I know I wouldn't have become a published author without the insight, encouragement, and astute feedback of my critique partners. More than that, I wouldn't have survived years of rejections or the whirlwind of release days and promotional events without the friends in my life -- online and off -- who've been there to talk me out of torching a problematic scene in the fireplace, to distract me from reading negative reviews with the promise of Almond Joy martinis, and/or to email me links to helpful articles when they know it'll give me valuable information.

What about you? Who do you call on when, um, you need a hand? (Cue the music again...start swaying and clapping to the song...) Who can you lean on? Please share!

*A version of this post appeared on Magical Musings in October 2010.*

Marilyn Brant is a USA Today bestselling author of contemporary women's fiction, romantic comedy, and mystery. Her novels have won awards such as RWA's Golden Heart and the Booksellers' Best, and they've been featured in the Doubleday Book Club, the Literary Guild, BOMC, and the Rhapsody Book Club. She loves music, chocolate, travel, and all things Jane Austen, and she was named the 2013 Author of the Year by the Illinois Association of Teachers of English. 

Visit her website at www.marilynbrant.com or check out her latest novel -- a coming-of-age romantic mystery called The Road to You.

What Every Writer Really Wants You to Know But is Too Nice to Say

by Samantha Wilde

In celebration of the one year anniversary of the release of my second novel, I'll Take What She Has, I decided to write down all the things I wanted to say when my books came out, but didn't. Because I am TOO NICE. 

Don't I look like a nice person?

I always want to say the nice thing. I'm a minister, that's how important it is to me to be kind to other people! However, I have spoken with many other authors who share this same affliction: smiling and shutting up in the face of woefully awful book-reader manners. Today, on behalf of all of us, I will break the silence.

It is time for readers to get an education in the etiquette of talking to authors. I will now nicely offer it.

1. NO, I will not loan you a copy of my novel.
I can't tell you how many readers say to published novelists: "Can I borrow a copy?" Would you go to a restaurant and ask to borrow a dish of food? Would you go into a jewelry store and ask to borrow a necklace? Authors are not librarians. It's insulting. If you don't want to buy the thing, for heaven's sake don't tell us!

2. PLEASE don't mention how you're going to get the book from the library!
I love libraries. I compulsively take out books. But if you are friends with or have the opportunity to chat up a published author at her book event, do not say, "I'll look for it at the library." If every reader requests that their library carry a copy of the book, that's awesome! However, unless you really can't afford a $15 paperback (less on Amazon, even less on eBay), you should hold off on letting your favorite author know that you love her books so much you intend to support her by not buying anything she has produced.

My amazing artist friend Sara Manela made
this picture for me last year.

3. Say something nice! I KNOW you can do it.
After you read an author's book, don't say, "I read your book" and nothing more! If you hated it, find one thing you can genuinely compliment. I am not asking you to lie. How about saying, "I like the cover," or "There were some funny lines." I've read awful books and yet I can always find one good thing and so can you. It's rude to offer silence. Don't tell the chef: "I ate the food," and don't tell the writer, "I read the book." If you truly can't find a positive thing, why not say: "My cat really liked it!"

4. A book costs money. Do not expect to be gifted one.
Do you know that most authors receive about 25 copies of their own book? After that, they have to BUY copies. I have bought copies, in fact, for giveaways I've done. That's right, I've paid to give my book away and I can assure you I am not the only one. So don't be offended when your neighbors' sister has a novel come out and doesn't bring you a copy.

5. BUY the thing already!
I know of many other authors who have friends, even close friends, who have not bought their book. Honestly, how many people do you know who have published a book? Probably not that many--and please don't include your Facebook friends here. I don't buy the book of every person I have ever interacted with on the planet, but if I go to a book talk, I buy the book. If my friend publishes it, I buy the book. I have even bought the books of acquaintances knowing I would never read the thing. Be a good friend. Buy the book.

Or don't buy the book, but if you choose not to, steer away from comments such as: "It really doesn't look interesting to me," or "I'd never read a book like that." Remember what your mom used to say? If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all? Silence is golden.

6. NO, you haven't!
The proper response if someone you know publishes a book is: Congratulations! Alternatively you can say: "That's exciting!" "Good for you!" or maybe even make some conversation and ask: "What was the process like?" It is not okay to say, "I wrote a book, too," when all you have at home is twenty pages you wrote forty years ago that no one has ever read. That's like saying to the winner of the Biggest Loser who lost 250 pounds through sheer hard work, "I lost weight, too! One pound." I LOVE that you want to write a book. I'm happy to hear about it. Yes, your life is interesting enough to become a bestselling memoir, but honey, it ain't so easy!

Well, I've done it and now I feel dreadful. What a mean person I've become. What next? Un-friending people who haven't purchased larges quantities of my novel or used it in their book club? Naming the unlikeable character in my next book after the person who keeps telling me she'll get my novel when it's on the remainder pile at the bookstore?

Won't you make me feel better and comment with your unspoken replies to bad reader-manners you've encountered over the years?

Thank you! And have a nice day!

Samantha Wilde is an extremely nice person. She tries to be agreeable, especially to strangers. Her two popular novels, This Little Mommy Stayed Home and I'll Take What She Has, are definitely worth owning, however you should know she only pretends to be a real writer because she actually spends her days taking care of her three small children, cleaning the house, and reading books. She's a minister of the progressive kind and wrote a book about love, Strange Gifts, that she does actually give away on a regular basis. She wants you to like her on Facebook because it improves her self-esteem. And wouldn't that be a nice thing to do?

NOTHING BUT A WRITER

Judith Arnold

I was pregnant with my younger son when I attended my first writers conference. My older son was twenty months old, and attending the conference meant spending several nights away from him for the very first time. I admit I was anxious about leaving my child—not that I had any doubts that my husband was up to the task. He couldn’t wait to enjoy a few days of male bonding with his little guy. In fact, he’d been the one to insist that I go.

I was already multi-published and under contract with two publishers when I made my writers conference debut. I’d begun writing romance novels before my first son was born. I’d dreamed of being a published novelist longer than I’d dreamed of being a mother, and I was not going to let his birth interfere with my dream. On the other hand, I was not going to be anything less than a perfect mother. 

Thus, from the moment of his birth, I became skilled at juggling wife-mother-writer responsibilities. I wrote while he napped. I hired teenagers to play with him after they got home from school so I could write for a couple of hours in the afternoon. I wrote in the evenings after dinner, when my husband could take over the parenting. During the first year of my son’s life, I wrote eleven complete romance novels, of which I eventually sold eight.

I thought this was what “having it all” meant. I was happy. I was exhausted. I was very, very busy. But the books got written and my son thrived.

At that first writers’ conference I attended, however, there were no maternal duties. No toddler to chase after. No peanut-butter sandwiches to cut in zig-zags. No baths. No diapers. No lullabies to sing at bedtime. No walks to the neighborhood park, no pushes on the swing in the kiddie playground. No spills during dinner, no squirming and fussing in the high chair, no racing for the paper towels, the mop, or the Dust-Buster. I could actually sit throughout an entire meal with a napkin on my lap, and speak to my dining companions in complete sentences.

At the conference, I didn’t have to be anything but a writer. I could focus all my attention on writing. I could talk shop with other writers. I could discuss projects with my editors. I could think writing. No interruptions, no distractions, no multi-tasking. For those few precious days, even thought I was waddling around in maternity apparel and drinking milk instead of wine, I was a writer. A full-time, 100% writer.

I can’t count how many conferences I’ve attended since that first conference. My sons are men now. They can make their own peanut-butter sandwiches. I no longer have to write detailed instructions for my husband—“Guitar lesson at 3:30,” “Little League practice at Haskell Field,” “Sign the permission slip for the school trip.” I can head off to a conference without any stress.

And so I go. I learn things in the workshops. I frequently present workshops myself. I hang out with my writer friends. I brainstorm new projects, network with publishing professionals, share insights about marketing, celebrate creative achievements, sign books, and vent about the ups and downs of maintaining a long career in this crazy business. I drink—wine, not milk.

But the greatest pleasure of writers conferences for me remains the same as it was at that very first conference so many years ago: when I go to a writers’ conference, I am not a mom, a wife, a cook, a housekeeper, a chauffeur, a permission-slip signer, or a multi-tasker. I am nothing but a writer.

 

Judith Arnold is looking forward to attending a writers’ retreat in Maine next month, the NECRWA “Let Your Imagination Take Flight” conference in May, the Romance Writers of America national conference in July, and the Novelists Inc. conference in October. Her new release, Dead Ball, the first book in the Lainie Lovett Still Kicking mystery series, is now available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Books-a-Million.  Please visit her web site  to learn about her independently published romances. For more information about her upcoming titles, sign up for her newsletter.